The Hardest Things About My Pregnancy So Far

Amy havins wears ripped jeans and sandals. Now that I am over half way done with my pregnancy (currently 21 weeks, 1 day), I wanted to get a little more real about how this process has been for me.

While I have had a DREAM pregnancy compared to my friends, there are still things that have been really hard for me. No, I have not had any morning sickness, I have been able to work out regularly, I am still wearing my low rise jeans (no more high rise) and I have not had any cravings (bc they are not real…let’s be honest pregnant or not pregnant pizza sounds delightful). From the outside, it may seem like I have had it easy, and others may think that it has been for me but until you walk a day in someones shoes, you really don’t ‘know’ how things really are.

While the ‘normal’ pregnancy things have not yet happened to me; I have still had a hard time with a few things since finding out in November that I was pregnant. The first thing (and biggest) has been attempting to over come my fear of visiting the doctor. A couple of months ago I wrote a post discussing ‘things you may not know about me‘ (you can read it here). In the post I briefly mentioned a very traumatic accident I had as a child. Needless to say, the medical effects of a childhood trauma are REAL. To this day, I still get such bad anxiety when even pulling into the parking lot at the doctor (or currently the hospital), it still takes more than one person to draw blood/give me a shot and I cannot even look at needles without feeling light headed. Let’s just say the thought of ‘D Day’ in July has been really hard for me. I know, everyone does it but for me it’s such a fear and I am terrified.

The second thing that has been really hard for me is the tiredness. As someone who is ‘always on the go’; having to slow down, or cancel dinner plans, schedule my day around resting has been more than frustrating. It’s such a weird feeling when you have gotten 12 hours of sleep and then the next afternoon you cannot even function if you do not close your eyes for a bit. I tried to describe my ‘tiredness’ to my husband and the best way that I could describe it was that feeling when you pull an ‘all nighter’ and you literally feel like a crazy person by the next afternoon if you do not go to sleep. For me, it has been so hard because I always feel like such a ‘flake’ because of the plans that I have had to cancel. While my tiredness has gotten better since my second trimester began, I have found that if I try and do too many things in a day, I am exhausted. I’ve become a ‘one outing a day’ kinda gal as of late.

The last and final thing that I am sure every single female struggles with is the weight gain that comes along with pregnancy. As someone who works really hard to stay in shape, it’s such a weird feeling not changing my eating habits/workout routine and the scale keeps slowly increasing. While I am ‘right on track’ with my weight gain according to my doctor, that doesn’t make it any easier! I am just hoping that by setting personal fitness goals throughout my pregnancy (work out until I have the baby) and keeping my eating normal (no extra ice cream because I am ‘craving’ it); that I will be able to lose the weight somewhat easily post baby! Also, I am in a wedding just 7 weeks after the baby is supposed to arrive, so the thought of walking down an aisle in a strapless bridesmaid dress has been at the forefront of my mind and kind of helped me when making certain food choices.

After you read this, I really hope you do not think I am complaining because I do know how ‘easy’ my pregnancy has been compared to others (or even what you went through). I also want to say that just because my pregnancy has not been spent hugging the toilet, does not mean that it is any less hard for me. Finally, I do want to mention that although there have been some harder things for me to attempt to overcome and a MAJORLY difficult scenario that is happening for me in just 4 short months; I am so grateful to be carrying this sweet baby boy. Wade and I are counting down the days until he arrives (me especially ;)) and we can hold him and give him more kisses that he will probably ever want! xx

16 Responses to The Hardest Things About My Pregnancy So Far

  1. Elizabeth says:

    Loved this reading this! It’s often hard to slow down but it’s much needed and totally worth it!
    Xo, Elizabeth

  2. Marci Gilbert says:

    It’s ok to dislike it! Lots of changes happening. I also loathe being pregnant. I hate the whole thing, including the first few months after! It gets better eventually and then you do it again.

  3. Meg says:

    Even an “easy” pregnancy is hard AF – you are growing another human inside of you – it’s an amazing but really hard thing to do. However, I think you are being slightly dismissive of pregnancy “cravings.” I agree that pregnancy shouldn’t be the time to indulge in all your cravings to an unhealthy degree, but you should pay attention to your body to make sure you get what you need. For example, during my pregnancy, I craved milk – I’ve never been one to drink milk alone (sure, it’s in my latte, cereal, smoothies, etc) – but my body needed it so I did it.

    I never felt the intense hunger that women describe during pregnancy – but that came after I delivered and was nursing. The hunger associated with nourishing an infant is no joke – make sure to pay attention to your body and eat as much (healthy) food as you need.

    PS I went to a spin class at 6 am the day that I gave birth 🙂

  4. Andrea Sager says:

    Love all your posts! I’m in the same boat! Had a pretty easy pregnancy in the beginning (35 weeks and 3 days now), not much weight gain (wore my normal jeans through week 25), so I don’t feel like I can complain too much, but every pregnancy is hard for different reasons. You’re halfway through though!! I can tell you one tip – at least for me – after I hit 30 weeks, despite no change in eating or workout, I still had a weight jump that shocked me between my 2 week visits. It is totally normal, but it’s still something to mentally prepare yourself for 🙂

    Sending continued good vibes to you for the rest of your pregnancy!!

  5. Ania says:

    You are so sweet! I loved the post! And thank you for being so open and honest about it! The idea of a pregnancy freaks me out ( I am not pregnant currently, but I know that day will come). But I am sure you are doing amazing and you are going to be the best mama there ever was 🙂

  6. Teresa Gonzales says:

    Totally understand about the weight gain, tiredness and what you are feeling. It will be worth it!

  7. Karen says:

    I am in week 31 and can relate to everything you have said here – so happy to have someone else share this openly!
    I agree – I don’t understand how pregnancy cravings are any different than normal food cravings!
    The weight thing is crazy – I now gain a pound a week and I am way less hungry than the 2nd tri. You can eat a carrot and your body will hoard it – I don’t understand what is going on with our metabolism as you would think we would be burning faster by growing a person. It makes you worry that on the other side this will continue!
    It’s obviously all worth it and I think of this every time I share any negatives. I want to balance that realization with being honest with others when I need to be as hoarding the negatives isn’t healthy either. We’ve been independent women for our whole lives – it’s got to be normal to get frustrated by these changes out of our control no matter how relatively healthy or tough our pregnancy! Thanks for this post.

  8. Laura says:

    I’m currently in the third pregnancy and my cravings are real! Maybe because you aren’t nauseous you are able to eat everything. I have so sea sick throughout, carbs are the only thing that settles my tummy Give me alllllll the bread!

  9. Brenda Hanley says:

    I enjoyed reading your blog tonight. Bless your heart. I will remember you in my prayers. And just remember that fear is from ourselves, not of God. Trust in His love, care and protection for you.

    Bless you Amy,
    Brenda Hanley

  10. Taylor says:

    I am right along with you in pregnancy–currently 21 weeks and 1 day today. The weight gain has been tough for me too. I gained nothing in my first trimester and nothing until 16 weeks. Then boom, all of a sudden at 16 weeks, I put on like 10 pounds overnight (not much change in diet and exercise). I have to be in a wedding in 2 months so I totally feel you on that too. I feel like I’m just going to look like a beached whale next to all the other bridesmaids. However, every time I start feeling bad about myself and the fact that I already outgrew my first pair of maternity jeans, I look down at my stomach and am in such awe. It’s crazy how in love you can be with someone you’ve never even met. Thank you for posting about your pregnancy journey. I love reading about someone who is as far along in pregnancy as I am. It’s great to feel a sense of sisterhood in this new mama thing.

  11. Jessica says:

    I struggled with the weight gain during my pregnancies too but believe me, the weight will come off after your beautiful baby is born. Your body knows exactly what to do. The good thing is that since you know how to dress well, you can gain and disguise and still look stunning.

    One of my favorite things to do with my 6 month old baby girl was to put her in a jogging stroller and head out for a 6 mile run. I would talk to her about whatever we saw as we ran . . . to this day,10 years later she loves being outdoors.

  12. Emmy says:

    I can totally relate to this, I cringed every time I stepped on the scale at the doctor’s office. I, however, did not control cravings and gained WAY more weight than recommended. Losing it was so much easier than I thought though, thanks to breastfeeding. I was back to pre-pregnancy weight less than 4 months after having my baby without even working out. Don’t be too hard on yourself. You look amazing! Right now the most important thing is making sure that baby boy is growing big and strong! Try not to worry about the weight gain!


  13. Keely says:

    I feel like I could have written this exact post when I was 20 weeks pregnant! I had my sweet baby boy 8 weeks ago and hope that what I’m going to tell you can ease your fears a little because I wish someone had told me these things! First, I want to tell you that I HATE the doctors office and also had terrible anxiety every time I pulled into the parking lot – I even hired a Doula just so that I could labor at home longer and spend less time at the hospital. I won’t tell you that you will love the hospital on D-Day, but by the time you get there, you just don’t care that much and the people in L&D are so, SO amazing. They’ll make you feel so normal and put your fears at ease as much as they can. Fill out your preference sheet ahead of time [if your hospital or clinic provides one] and the nurses and delivery doctor will be aware of your wants and needs before you get there! [My doula was a fantastic advocate for me and support for my husband if you’re considering that avenue]

    Second, give yourself grace. Because at 21 weeks you probably feel like you don’t feel or look that different and trying to keep up with your same day-to day routine its hard to learn to slow down – you’re growing a human and you shouldn’t feel bad about doing whatever you need to do to make yourself comfortable and your baby healthy.

    Third, the weight gain was the hardest part for me too! It plagued me day in and day out if things would ever go back to normal. I was also right on track, never had cravings and didn’t change my healthy eating style during pregnancy. 8 weeks later I can tell you that I still have a few pounds to go and areas to tighten up but I don’t think anyone would really notice and that’s mostly without exercise right now. You are going to look great in your bridesmaid dress 🙂

    I think the hardest part of the whole experience is letting yourself slow down and giving yourself more space and time to go through this experience and then the process of becoming a mother and all the firsts that go with it. My husband always tells me to just take it one day at a time and I think he’s right. All the things I worried about [many of the same things you are] turned out better than i could have expected. Be patient with yourself and enjoy this time.

  14. Antoinette says:

    Love your honest take on your current reality as it’s all Spot On! As tired as you are just be sure to stay active as it will make a huge difference on the other end when he arrives! Perhaps to assist with your anxiety talk to your doctor about getting a midwife to assist with your delivery, as it truly made the difference for me. I was able to deliver naturally both times! Wade will be supportive but for the men it’s kind of like Deer in the headlights, if you know what I mean! Having a midwife who was right there for every breath, every push and who talked me through the whole experience..Oh and who also talked me off the ledge just when I thought I couldn’t do it! My childbirth experiences of both my boys (ages 21 & 16) are two things in my life I am most proud of! Trust me…You Got This! Warm wishes for the second half! Cheers! Antoinette

  15. Kate says:

    I’m a mom of four so let me reassure you of a few things. First of all, weight gain is perfectly normal and healthy. I gained 30 pounds each time. When I had my daughter at 26, the weight came off in 3 months and I’m not a huge workout person. We lived in the city at the time and I simply walked it off with her in the stroller. I ate sensibly without starving myself and I was back in my size 0 jeans in no time. It is true that each pregnancy after you pop earlier. But, I lost the weight each time with the same regimen. As you get older, you do have to work a little harder at it like doing crunches, etc but you’ll lose the weight. As far as labor is concerned, I was scared too and I hate the hospital. I had two C-sections (with my first and fourth bc they were breach) and two V-bacs with my second and third. Delivering vaginally is WAY better. Once you get an epidural, it’s a breeze. You won’t feel anything. If you do end up with a C-section, just remember to manage your pain meds afterwards. So, take the Percoset or 800 milligrams of ibuprofen and you’ll be fine. It’s not as scary as you think. If it was that awful, I never would have opted to have four kids! And once you give birth and see your baby for the first time, you will be so overwhelmed with emotions that you’ll forget all about labor and you’ll want to do it again! Hope this helps alleviate your fears 🙂

    Taffeta & Tulips

  16. Ashley says:

    I completely understand and agree that pregnancy is challenging in its own unique way for every woman. I had to go through IVF and was sick for most of my pregnancy but I wouldn’t ever dream of judging another woman or wish my experience on anyone else. Pregnancy is hard. Period.
    Having only gained 23 pounds, I’m currently 7 weeks postpartum and have been back at my pre pregnancy weight for about 2 weeks. All I’ve done post c section is breastfeed, a lot of walking and a great diet with whole unprocessed foods. I must admit that although back at my original weight I do not look the same. Prepare yourself to possibly see some softness where you were once toned and not six pack abs… hey, it could happen but it probably won’t! Always remember though that it’s not permanent and just your body healing. You won’t ever look the same after having a baby; you will look better and be stronger! So be kind to yourself and focus on the amazing things your body is doing. Just a tip, I strongly recommend the Belle Bandit postpartum wraps and leggings. They gave me the compression that I needed to feel supported and be able to stay active. Best wishes and prayers to you and your family:)

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