Now that I am over half way done with my pregnancy (currently 21 weeks, 1 day), I wanted to get a little more real about how this process has been for me.
While I have had a DREAM pregnancy compared to my friends, there are still things that have been really hard for me. No, I have not had any morning sickness, I have been able to work out regularly, I am still wearing my low rise jeans (no more high rise) and I have not had any cravings (bc they are not real…let’s be honest pregnant or not pregnant pizza sounds delightful). From the outside, it may seem like I have had it easy, and others may think that it has been for me but until you walk a day in someones shoes, you really don’t ‘know’ how things really are.
While the ‘normal’ pregnancy things have not yet happened to me; I have still had a hard time with a few things since finding out in November that I was pregnant. The first thing (and biggest) has been attempting to over come my fear of visiting the doctor. A couple of months ago I wrote a post discussing ‘things you may not know about me‘ (you can read it here). In the post I briefly mentioned a very traumatic accident I had as a child. Needless to say, the medical effects of a childhood trauma are REAL. To this day, I still get such bad anxiety when even pulling into the parking lot at the doctor (or currently the hospital), it still takes more than one person to draw blood/give me a shot and I cannot even look at needles without feeling light headed. Let’s just say the thought of ‘D Day’ in July has been really hard for me. I know, everyone does it but for me it’s such a fear and I am terrified.
The second thing that has been really hard for me is the tiredness. As someone who is ‘always on the go’; having to slow down, or cancel dinner plans, schedule my day around resting has been more than frustrating. It’s such a weird feeling when you have gotten 12 hours of sleep and then the next afternoon you cannot even function if you do not close your eyes for a bit. I tried to describe my ‘tiredness’ to my husband and the best way that I could describe it was that feeling when you pull an ‘all nighter’ and you literally feel like a crazy person by the next afternoon if you do not go to sleep. For me, it has been so hard because I always feel like such a ‘flake’ because of the plans that I have had to cancel. While my tiredness has gotten better since my second trimester began, I have found that if I try and do too many things in a day, I am exhausted. I’ve become a ‘one outing a day’ kinda gal as of late.
The last and final thing that I am sure every single female struggles with is the weight gain that comes along with pregnancy. As someone who works really hard to stay in shape, it’s such a weird feeling not changing my eating habits/workout routine and the scale keeps slowly increasing. While I am ‘right on track’ with my weight gain according to my doctor, that doesn’t make it any easier! I am just hoping that by setting personal fitness goals throughout my pregnancy (work out until I have the baby) and keeping my eating normal (no extra ice cream because I am ‘craving’ it); that I will be able to lose the weight somewhat easily post baby! Also, I am in a wedding just 7 weeks after the baby is supposed to arrive, so the thought of walking down an aisle in a strapless bridesmaid dress has been at the forefront of my mind and kind of helped me when making certain food choices.
After you read this, I really hope you do not think I am complaining because I do know how ‘easy’ my pregnancy has been compared to others (or even what you went through). I also want to say that just because my pregnancy has not been spent hugging the toilet, does not mean that it is any less hard for me. Finally, I do want to mention that although there have been some harder things for me to attempt to overcome and a MAJORLY difficult scenario that is happening for me in just 4 short months; I am so grateful to be carrying this sweet baby boy. Wade and I are counting down the days until he arrives (me especially ;)) and we can hold him and give him more kisses that he will probably ever want! xx