3 Months With Ralph

Amy havins shares an update on life with a new baby.Although this post is titled ‘3 months with Ralph’, I feel like I really should have called it ‘life with a new baby’. Today marks exactly 3 months with baby Ralph and 1 month since my last baby update (you can read my 2 month update here). After posting a two month update I was not sure that I would ever post another again because I got more than a handful of negative e-mails and comments after people read my post. Apparently it is a bad thing to say that you have an easy baby and it makes others feel bad if you have had an easy transition. I just think it is really strange that people judge you for things that you decide to do. It’s hard for me to think that way because I literally do not care ‘why’ people do things. Yes, I am always interested and love hearing their side but ‘You Do You’ has always been my motto. I have always felt that thinking that way opens my mind to others choices/reasoning.

Now, when I started this blog in August of 2011, I made a promise to myself to always be authentic and honest about my experiences, products I like and brands that I work with. When I made the conscious decision to add baby content (you can see the full dallas wardrobe baby site here) upon finding out I was pregnant, I made the same promise to myself to make sure that I was truthful about my experiences/products/etc. Throughout my pregnancy I posted about how I personally felt about pregnancy (not the biggest fan), things I liked and lots of things I didn’t like  and once again..the shammers (or internet trolls as I like to call them); hid behind their computers and made snarky comments about my personal experience. Apparently you have to say you’re having a terrible time or tell people what they want to hear to be relatable? Still trying to figure that one out.

Since I am at the 3 month mark (today) with Ralph, I figured I would post again about MY personal experience with MY baby. I have to say, not a whole lot has changed since my last update. We are now in what I like to call our ‘new’ normal routine with Baby Ralph and learning so much from him each and every day. Our routine still consists of long mornings,  work outs a few times a week (I attend the occasional class in between his morning-mid morning feed), ordering in (thank goodness for postmates), dinners out (we try and take him to dinner at least once a week) and my NEW favorite thing..our Sundays. Wade and I also try and keep things as normal as possible for the two of us because at the end of the day our relationship is number 1. (‘normal’ for us is morning coffee, dinner and really just spending quality time together).

When I last gave you all an update; Ralph was still loving his schedule. While he is still on a very strict schedule (it makes him predictable and let’s us be able to have a somewhat ‘new’ normal routine); he is now up a lot more which is SOOO much fun. He loves to look around, ‘talk’ and watch tv. The T.V. thing has been a thing for him since he was 6 weeks old but now it’s amazing the way he will bend around to try and get a glimpse. Sometimes he gets so distracted by the television even being on that we have to hide it from him if he needs to nap or eat.

The last week the weather has gotten a bit nicer, so Ralph has loved laying in the backyard and taking long strolls on Sunday. I know I said this in my last update but life with Ralph is so much fun. I really wasn’t lying when I said he is such an easy baby..because he really is. (side note: if we ever have a second, I guarentee that baby will not be as easy as Ralph). Having an easy baby (he could get more difficult the older he gets), really has made the new dynamic of having a baby very seamless (because he is easy and has really cried probably 4 times).

One thing that I can say is really interesting about having a baby is that prior to having Ralph I thought it would be super easy to leave him. I thought I would have no problem packing my bags and going on a little get away. Well now that we are 3 months in, I am not going to lie when I say that I am not ready to leave him yet. Sometimes when I’m running errands or at a meeting and I know that he is awake and I am not there I have this weird anxiety like I am missing something. That is for sure something I NEVER thought I would have. Never say never!

As easy as Ralph has been, yesterday was the hardest day because baby Ralph is sick. He has a head cold and not having ever been around a sick baby, it really is the saddest thing because you are trying to do everything you can (vapor rub, humidifier, steam, bath, etc) but they still feel bad. It was so sad last night putting Ralph to bed when he was so upset that he felt bad. After snuggling him for a bit, he finally calmed down and was out for the night. I am hoping that in the next couple of days he takes a turn for the better!

Ralph now is 13 1/2 pounds, 24 inches long (tall?) and is still the sweetest most calm baby. Wade and I say everyday that we are so thankful to be able to raise such a sweet boy. I cannot even believe that it has already been 3 months but as much as I have loved the first few months, we have started to see bits and pieces of sweet baby Ralph’s personality; so between that and the constant smiles and little giggles I know how much more fun (if that is even possible), we are going to have with this little sweetheart.

I’m sorry if I started out this post a bit harshly, it’s just somewhat exhausting to put yourself out there and just get trolled for saying it’s been really great having a baby that happens to be really easy,not fussy and a good sleeper. IF I do another update in the near future, I am realistic that things could change…I mean we are quickly approaching the 4 month sleep regression. Until next time…

30 Responses to 3 Months With Ralph

  1. Emme says:

    I’m so happy for you that you are enjoying your baby so! He sounds like an angel- haters are always going to hate- sadly, some people are so miserable & want everyone else to be as well. I read your blog for the fashion ideas & to feel upbeat. Give me happy any time! Enjoy your little one & I look forward to Month 4

  2. Marci says:

    He’s a beautiful baby! Just keep doing your thing and enjoy! The craziness will come!

  3. Abby says:

    Ignore the haters (I know easier said than done!) Ralph is so adorable and I’m always so happy for people who have an easy baby! Take the wins when you can get them! I truly believe that babies feel their parents energy and mimic that- I’ve noticed this with so many friends. You seem like a calm and steady person so it is not surprising that Ralph is too.

  4. Sara says:

    He is a doll. Those cheeks are just so adorable. Some babies are so easy and some aren’t. My niece was a dream just like little Ralph and my nephew was a difficult baby. My sister-in-law always jokes that if they would have had my nephew first they would not have had another baby. Every baby and every parent’s experience is different. Keeps enjoying that precious bundle of joy and never apologize for your journey.

  5. Katey says:

    Sweet Ralph!! I love seeing him on your Instagram and I love that he’s been so good to you! xo

  6. Rebecca says:

    Dear Amy,

    Unfortunately, I think the disconnect that previous commenters have referenced is not due to the fact that your personal experiences with having a baby are simply different from their own; rather, the disconnect lies with the level of privilege that some mothers are afforded. It is not the reality for many women to be able to afford delivered food or groceries, hired assistance, or other conveniences that allow some mothers more time flexibility. Such flexibility is a invaluable to a new mother, and that alone can ease some of the stress and anxiety that comes with motherhood. Fortunately, you have the benefit of both a healthy, easy-going baby and resources that can support you as you raise your son. While your blog is, of course, based on your own perspective and experiences, an acknowledgement of such privilege would suggest a larger awareness that individual experiences are not necessarily the norm.

    • Tiffany says:

      If someone needs that reassurance I’m not sure social media is the right place for them to be. There is a reason she has so many followers and it’s bc she is a stylist inspiration to women who like her fashion and decorum. If you find her to be too ostentatious and unrelatable than you should stop following her journey.

    • Kelley says:

      Amen!!

    • Jill says:

      She had the same life before she had her baby. Why in the world should someone have to “apologize” on their own blog for recording and sharing their life and experiences? If you can’t relate or aspire to it, don’t read! I personally love seeing a new mom that is having such a great time with everything. Life’s too short to be judgemental or snarky.

    • Michelle S says:

      YASS Rebecca! This is the point EXACTLY

    • Hi Rebecca,

      I always love when readers who are not parents comment on baby related experiences. Clearly you’re not understanding what I am saying…I am sharing MY PERSONAL experience. Would it be more ‘relatable’ if I were to say ‘I’ve been stuck at home for 3 months and have never left the house’. Hmmm…I think not because that is not what I am doing. Since I started my blog I have never been dishonest about my experiences and I do not intend to start now.

      Did it ever even occur to you that maybe we waited to have a baby so we could be able to have the ‘privilege’ of ordering in dinner or being able to spend time just the two of us? Regardless, no one should ever have to apologize for the way that they are choosing to be a parent.

      I do appreciate that you took the time to comment but I think you should spend your time elsewhere on the internet as this site is clearly not in your ‘taste’. xx

      • Helene says:

        It seems from her comment that she is indeed a parent. Unfortunately, you’re missing the point of her comment. Many parents wait to have children until they have the proper means to support them. People shouldn’t make assumptions or judge, but since you are a blogger and have a public presence online, judgment is going to happen. It’s great to ignore negativity but also not be shocked when you receive it.

      • Rebecca says:

        Dear Amy,

        Thank you for your reply, but I am afraid that you have misread the intention of my comment. I am not writing from a position of judgment that finds your experiences with motherhood unrelatable; however, after reading the negative comments that you alluded to in this post, those readers have asked both you and me to consider our positions in relation to theirs. I question whether their sentiments are truly rooted in jealousy or a preference for you to misrepresent your experiences. As you state, you and your husband have made certain choices to provide a stable and healthy lifestyle for your son; these choices are not afforded to all mothers who may read your experiences. While they do have the option to unfollow, respectfully, there is a difference between dismissiveness and graceful empathy in response to these comments.

  7. Claire says:

    Baby Ralph is SO adorable. I love your Instastories about him but also really appreciate how you’ve balanced your baby blog/posts with your fashion posts! …and don’t pay any attention to those negative emails. Your experience of motherhood (whatever that is, hard or easy) is your own and you shouldn’t feel bad about sharing it! XOXO

  8. Tiffany says:

    You are extremely likable and sweet! I’m sorry you are having to deal with this. My first two girls were absolute angels, same temperament as you describe Ralph. My third has been a complete horror show haha babies are SO different and it’s so irritating when moms judge you for praising certain aspects of motherhood and life just because it differed from theirs! I always say, if you don’t like something or can’t relate you can kindly press the unfollow button!! Beautiful family!! XO PS: he will probably continue on the path of dream baby, my girls are four and three and I still consider them dreamy

  9. Jaimie says:

    He is the cutest!! Thank you for sharing! xx
    http://www.lilyparkeast.com

  10. Kristen says:

    I live by the motto “You Do You” too. Your blog is great and by no means should you feel bad about what you post at any time. Ignore the haters…they aren’t worth your time. Keep being positive and posting about your sweet baby. He is adorable!!!

  11. Chelsey says:

    Thanks for sharing! My baby girl just turned theee months as well so following your journey has been fun to see. My baby also is so easy and not sure how we lucked out with her. I’ve noticed that I kind of feel like an asshole when someone asks me about life with a newborn and I respond that it’s amazing and she’s happy ALL the time! #blessed 🙂 Great to have someone sharing a positive experience instead of just the negatives…people wear stress Iike battle scars these days… Kepp upnthe good work, mama!

  12. Caroline says:

    Hey Amy-

    My baby girl is exactly one month younger than Ralph and I would love to know some tips on how you take Ralph out to dinner. Does he fall asleep at the restaurant and you just transfer him to the crib when you get home? Or does he just stay up later on nights you go out? So far we have mostly been eating at home or my mom had come over to watch her but I would love to take her out with us soon. I am just worried that she will be so tired being out past her “bedtime” that she will have a meltdown.

    It’s so nice to hear how other moms experiences are going, especially since our babes are so close in age. Thank you for being so open.

    • Hi Caroline!

      Congratulations on your sweet baby girl! Ralph’s last feed of the day is at 7 pm, so when Wade and I take him to dinner we shoot for a 5:45-6PM reservation! Baby Ralph usually sleeps in his car seat until 6:30ish. Sometimes we finish dinner quickly but if we choose to eat somewhere that takes longer, we make sure to bring a bottle and I just feed him at the table at 7PM! After dinner, we just head home and put him in his jammies, swaddle him and put him to bed!

      Thankfully Ralph really loves his schedule, so it makes meal planning, going out and errands easy because it is predictable what time works for him and his ‘feeds’! Oh and the same goes for other meal times—if we go to lunch we just make a 12:45 reservation, so I can get settled, feed Ralph at 1 and then enjoy my lunch by the time it gets to the table usually about 1:25! I know it sounds crazy but keeping him on such a strict schedule has really helped us ‘adjust’ to having a baby!

      LMK if you have anymore questions. xx

  13. JRB says:

    I get that some people have a hard time with the transition, but as someone who is 6 months pregnant with my first child, I’d rather hear these positive stories. Quite frankly, I think it’s a little more the norm to have a positive experience than a negative experience anyways, but those who have had a bad experience tend to be more vocal – all I read is about never sleeping again and being depressed and constantly stressed. I don’t want to set unrealistic expectations, but I also don’t want to spend the next 3 months dreading motherhood. So I personally very much appreciate your honesty. I wish more people focused on the positives. Little Ralph is adorable!

  14. Alison says:

    Hi Amy – Ralph is just divine! I have been enjoying watching how you have embraced your new life -blending old and new. I also just want to give you a little encouragement to keep on doing you and don’t feel you need to change your experience or validate the negative noise! My gorgeous girl is now 11 y.o., was a fabulous happy and engaged baby and she has gone onto be a delightful pre-teen that I have many reasons to be proud of. I acknowledge I am truly blessed to have a smooth, happy experience but I also acknowledge others have different experiences and they find it really, really hard. With the benefit of hindsight my friends and I would suggest that most of the new mom negativity is driven by the uncertainty that comes from such a big life change – mixed in with a healthy dose of hormonal chaos and a lack of quality sleep! You are blessed with a happy, easy going baby and a positive mindset so keep an eye on the bigger picture and be true to you (not just for you, for Ralph too!). Take care xx

  15. Drea says:

    Baby Ralph updates are my favorite, whether it’s Instagram or the blog. My little one is two weeks younger than Ralph, and it has been so fun to watch him grow. We are fastidious about scheduling, too, and although my tiny one definitely isn’t an easy baby, it has helped a ton! Those baby smiles make it all worth it. Thanks for making your little cutie a bright spot in my day!

  16. Courtney says:

    Thank you for sharing!!!

  17. Janet H. says:

    So happy for you. Glad you are enjoying your new baby. They are such a delight. Enjoy every precious moment.

  18. Jane says:

    Way to stand up for yourself! I had the happiest and easiest baby ever, and now happy toddler and honestly I lost a good friend over it. My husband and I would always say we knew how blessed we were and that her happiness was really just her personality. But sadly some people are never happy when other people are happy. Comparison is a thief of joy, other mother especially should not put you down for being happy or having an easy time. Enjoy this wonderful time! Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for being thankful and happy.

  19. Paula Bissanti says:

    Don’t let the haters get you down. It’s great that you have an easy baby and are making a wonderful transition. Some moms will need to hear that news. Not everyone has to have a terrible experience. Shout your happiness out loud. That’s why we read your blog. It’s god and bad and we love the transparency. I love your content and don’t want you to stop because of some people’s comments. They can opt out.

  20. Katherine says:

    As a mom to be, your story particularly resonates with me and gives me peace of mind. I don’t know what my own experience will be yet (soon!) but it helps reduce my own stresses and anxiety to know that sometimes, newborns and infants can be a smoother experience than we are lead to believe. Thank you for telling your story — #stopthemommyshaming

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