That new mom Life (update)

Amy Havins shares what she likes and dislikes about being a new mom.Life as a new mom comes with a lot more than just caring for your baby. It comes with everything from (unwanted) advice from other moms, lots of opinions from others on how you are choosing to parent, a brain that never turns off and balancing husband and baby time.

Although Ralph has made becoming a first time mom really easy for me because he loves his little schedule and has been sleeping through the night for months; that does not mean that just because you have an easy baby it’s a walk in the park.

Regardless of the help you have (it takes a village), being a parent is stressful. One of the biggest thing that has come with being a mom is the constant state of worrying. I don’t think my brain has ‘turned off’ once since Ralph was born. Even if I am out and I know he is in good hands, I am constantly checking in on him and making sure that everything okay.

Another thing that has been a really big struggle for me with being a new mom is staying focused. Besides constantly worrying, staying focused has been so difficult because I always want to be around Ralph. LIKE ALWAYS. I never want to miss any ‘up’ time that he has, which makes it really difficult to get anything done as he is starting to be awake a bit more during the day. Everyday I have plans to accomplish everything from work, getting in a quick work out, home ‘errands’ to even attending work events but I have learned that if I am away too long during the day, I get really stressed out and kind of shut down. It’s like every time I get that notification on my phone that says ‘motion is detected in ralph’s crib’ when I am out I just feel a pit in my stomach (a.k.a mom guilt). Once I got the notification in the grocery store and just called it quits mid aisle and came home to play. It sounds weird I know but trust me it is just as weird when it happens because I never thought I would be like this!

With a constant state of worrying and lack of focus there are also a few ‘annoying’ things that come along with being a new mom. One of the MOST annoying things is having to ask people to wash their hands before they hold your baby. My friends and I were actually talking about this the other day and they said they are constantly asking people to wash their hands too. We all agreed that most moms do walk in and wash their hands but it would surprise you the amount that don’t! Do people not understand that it’s not only a new baby but now that we are in ‘flu/cold’ season it’s as important as ever to keep those hands clean? I cannot tell you the amount of eye rolls I have gotten when I have asked people to wash their hands (I got the biggest eye roll from a visitor in the hospital when my baby was only 8 hours old). It’s weird that people make you feel ‘bad’ for such a simple request but I guess that comes with the territory.

Lastly, the amount of advice (wanted and unwanted) when you are a new mom is amazing. I know when everyone sees a new baby it ‘takes them back’ and they feel this weird urge to chime in on your products, inquire about your parenting style or even ask how you are feeding your baby but I think if I have learned anything about ‘offering’ advice the last few months it is only offer if you are asked. No mom wants anything but the best for their baby so a simple ‘looks like you’re doing a great job’ is much more well received than a ‘tip’ that worked for you.

Being a new mom to baby Ralph is literally the best thing that has ever happened to me but I wanted to make sure that you guys knew that although he has been a really great baby so far, that doesn’t mean that every day is easy breezy. Being a (first time) mom is filled with so many stresses, anxieties and fears that you are making the best decisions to mold your sweet little baby to be the best they can be while also trying not missing a single moment!

10 Responses to That new mom Life (update)

  1. Jill says:

    hi Amy, my mom used to tell me, “listen politely…then do what you feel is the right thing for YOUR baby!” my kids are grown now and i do remember getting so much wanted and unwanted advice. i try to only give advice if i am asked, even with my son’s son.

    baby Ralph is adorable and looks to be a very happy baby, so you guys must be doing something right!

    • I love this and totally agree but sometimes it gets exhausting hearing what everyone else would do!

      Ralph is the happiest baby…I’m enjoying every moment!!

  2. Cayla says:

    I completely get you about the hand washing! We’re about to have two tiny babes in a couple weeks and I intend on having everyone wash their hands and I know it will feel kind of awkward having to ask! I almost want to make a little sign or something! You’re totally right about flu season! . Better safe (and maybe awkward) than sorry!!

    • It’s so weird but it’s SO awkward asking people to wash their think it would be common sense to wash your hands before you hold a baby!!!

      A sign would totally be a good idea…I got to the point where I just don’t care anymore!!

  3. Allison Bauman says:

    Hi Amy,

    Thank you so much for sharing!! I also have a new baby who is 3 months old – it’s so fun to read about Ralph and how similar the babies are at the same age! I want to thank you for sharing so much on your blog – I know it is difficult to hear everyone’s advice and opinions all the time. We also just tried the Miracle suit to transition from swaddle and are going to get the Fisher Price chair!! 🙂

    He is such a darling baby – congratulations again!!


  4. Anonymous says:

    just adorable, i came here for the fashion but i just had to take a look at the precious gift in your hands….

  5. Mallory Kaplan says:

    Love it Amy!! Not even a Mom and I know the hand washing thing is a must!!

  6. Allison Parker says:

    Hi there, who did you use for your sleep consultant? I live in the Dallas area as well and would love her info.

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